Konna ni chikaku de
by Zashache
Summary: This, this close I'm watching you.Why, why are we only friends? No matter how, no matter how strong my feelings are. They don't reach you. You don't understand, I'm so in love with you. SuzaLulu, Oneshot.


**A/N**; wiuw! Genki, ne, minna-san! This is my second story on Code Geass English O.o and still, my English is bad. And my grammar is bad too ToT forgive me... I made this story for my dear friend, and hope she'll never read it o.O (_wut???_) I hope so! DX

-this bold line phrase is a translated Japanese song, "_**Konna ni chikaku de...**__" _by; _Crystal Kay_. I saw a SuzaLulu MAD video on youtube, using this song. And the video was MARVELOUS. I love it...XD

- _Konna ni chikaku de... _means; This close.

©**Code GEASS **is belongs to Sunrise, CLAMP, and TBS…

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_**Love is so sad,**_

_**I realized it that night you were next to me.**_

_**Cause better than anybody else,**_

_**I know you so well.**_

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What should he say? What should he do? Lelouch met him again this morning, and he's going to die. His heartbeat pump up inside of him, his hand palm is full of sweat, and he feels a little bit dizzy.

Why? A simple question and a simple answer too.

"....Because I love him so much."

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_**Even your casual kindness,**_

_**Makes my chest tighten.**_

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Suzaku Kururugi is only a kind-simple teenager. Besides he is a Britannia soldier...Suzaku just a simpleton person. But what makes him so special?

Because Lelouch Lamperouge is in love with him, and Suzaku doesn't know it.

"aa, Good Morning! Lelouch-kun!" Suzaku greet him with a marvelous smile on his face, Suzaku always looked happy all the time. One of his trademarks.

"o-oh, Suzaku-kun. Good morning." Lelouch's Heart is gonna explode, if he take a glance to see the smile (_or a grin, more precisely_) on Suzaku's face. He looks so damn cute.

"mm? Lelouch? Why your face is so red?" Suzaku said, pointing his index finger to Lelouch (_blushing_) face.

"Uh!? What--?! No--!!" damn. He doesn't expect his face to turn red right now! And infront of Suzaku!

"Are you okay? Are you sick, Lelouch? Did you sleep late last night?" Suzaku looks worried, he's checking Lelouch temperature by put his hand to Lelouch's forehead. And it feels kinda hot.

"I...i'm okay, Suzaku! Please, don't worry about me!" Lelouch said, his face turn more red-ish. Suzaku just smile a little bit before he takes away his hand from Lelouch's forehead.

"Oh, Okay... but make sure you're fine and if necessary, take an aspirin. I don't want my bestfriend to get sick, okay??" Suzaku demand, for some reason, he looks so overprotective to Lelouch.

And Lelouch loves it when Suzaku care about him. But he knows, Suzaku only cared to him as a _friend, _not as a... _Lover_?

"uh-oh, must go know! I must bring my project to the teachers...see you at the council room, Lelouch!" Suzaku said, and then he run over, leaving Lelouch behind him. Lelouch only could stare, with a blank expression on his face and of course.... a deep blush on his cheeks.

Suzaku made him insane every time he showed up infront of Lelouch's face, Lelouch cannot rid Suzaku's face in his mind. Suzaku _always there._ And _always...._

Suzaku attitude also made Lelouch crazy, because he wanted more of Suzaku's attention. He wants all of Suzaku's attention, Suzaku's attentions only belongs to him.

And he always wonders when he can meet Suzaku again?

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_**This, this close I'm watching you**_

_**Why, why are we only friends?**_

_**No matter how, no matter how strong my feelings are**_

_**They don't reach you. You don't understand**_

_**I'm so in love with you**_

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The first period class was started almost 20 minutes ago, the teacher already explains about the material for next week test... and Lelouch... still take a glance over Suzaku.

His tanned skin, his emerald green eyes, his marvelous smile, his kindness, and his loyalty made Lelouch cannot resist it. Suzaku is like a drug, who made Lelouch very addicted....everyday, and everynight...

This close he have watched him, and Suzaku still not noticed it.

This close he has reached him, but he still cannot reach him.

Sometimes it makes Lelouch kinda sad, because he can't reach Suzaku. Because he can't show his love for Suzaku.... it hurts him so much. And the worst thing is; Suzaku always near him.

When Lelouch is _still _take a glance over Suzaku, suddenly Suzaku look at him. Lelouch flinched because he thought that Suzaku busted him for looking at him, but....Suzaku just smile to him. And whisper something to Lelouch.

Lelouch can't hear what Suzaku said, but he can read it from his moving lips. He said; _"don't go anywhere after this first and second class, I've made you a lunch. Okay?_"

Lelouch can feel his face turn red again.

"..O....okay..." he whisper back to Suzaku. Suzaku looked satisfied, and he turns back, looking away from Lelouch again. Again, Suzaku just made Lelouch more love him.

After the first and second period has ended, all students went out from the class. Lelouch also went out from class, but someone just stopped his movements because someone just takes his hand. And Lelouch is very surprised when he realized who is it.

"Lelouch-kun" Suzaku. Standing besides him. And he so...close. Really-really close.... Lelouch froze when his eyes meet Suzaku's.

"Hey, I remembered our childhood, that we eat lunch together! So, why we don't do it again? I've cooked you some food that you like! Uh, but unfortunately I only can cook Japanese food...not a fancy royal food that usually you eat...is that okay?" Lelouch not listening Suzaku's word. He's too busy watch Suzaku's face. Who so close to him. Very close....

"Eh...Lelouch? are you listening?" ask Suzaku.

"HUH? Oh—yes...yes...i'm listening...ah...thanks...Suzaku... you made me embarrassed...uh, ha-ha..." Lelouch said, his face is really red...

"oh! You shouldn't be! Ha-ha-ha...you're my bestfriend, afterall!" Suzaku just laugh away...

Now, Lelouch become silent after the _bestfriend_ word came out from Suzaku's mouth. Suddenly it hurt his heart, once again. Why he kept always use that _phrase?_ I mean... they're more, than _bestfriends!_

"Should we go now? I know a great place to eat lunch!" ask Suzaku cheerily. He sounded very enthusiasm... now...about Lelouch... he knew that he sad, but...he wants to enjoy his precious time with Suzaku...he knew he'll regret it. But...not now.

He wants to spoil with Attention that Suzaku gives to him, and let nobody taste it...

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_**"You're not feeling too good?"**_

_**You said, and in that moment**_

_**I yawned to hide my tears**_

_**"Lack of sleep, maybe?" was my excuse.**_

_**The lies to my most important person**_

_**Keep piling up? That's the current me.**_

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Everyday and everynight, Lelouch always think about Suzaku. He knew that thought about Suzaku will hurt his heart more, but he can't help it. He just loves Suzaku so much. More than everything. Suzaku is just so precious in his eyes....

And sometimes he cried, because...well...Suzaku doesn't knew about his feeling, and Suzaku will never know. Because, if Lelouch tell him about his feeling, Suzaku will think that Lelouch is a....freak. And he'll stand away from him, forever and ever.

That is Lelouch's biggest fear.

"Ohayou-ne! Lelouch-kun!" as always. Suzaku greet Lelouch again this morning. Lelouch just responded Suzaku's smile and greet with a single nod. Suzaku knew something was wrong.

"Lelouch? Is there something wrong? Is something bothering you?" ask Suzaku.

"Uh...what?" oh. Lelouch hated it when Suzaku knew about his condition. Especially his bad mood condition. And anyway, it's because Suzaku too. Per che.

"Uh...your eyes is kinda blurry and red...are you cried??"Ask Suzaku, he looks worried. Of course Lelouch won't tell the truth why he cried to Suzaku. He must lie to him. (as always)

"Hmmmm....I slept late last night...there's many task that I must finished..." said Lelouch, with a fake yawn. To hide his tears.

"Uh...Okay... I trust you... but...please, watch over your health, you're kinda fragile you know?" Suzaku said.

Suzaku really knew him so well. He knew what Lelouch wants is, he knew that Lelouch is fragile, he knew what kind of person Lelouch it is, Suzaku knew Lelouch so well... and Lelouch glad for that.

"Hm... I-I'm Okay Suzaku, t-thanks for your attention..."Lelouch said. He wants to hug Suzaku, on this moment. XP

"Well... it means that I know you so well! Ha-ha...somehow, I feel proud of it. Ha-ha..." Said Suzaku, with a grin on his face.

"...yeah, I feel glad too that you knew me so well...."

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_**Every day, every day, my heart is in pain**_

_**Countless, Countless sleepness nights overcome**_

_**That first, that first day we met**_

_**It'd be so great if I could return to it**_

_**I'm so in love with you.**_

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He can't take it anymore... he's tired thinking of Suzaku... his beloved one, his precious one... everynight he cried for him, and everyday he must lied to him.

Lelouch realized, his own feeling can killing him softly... kill his heart beat, by pieces to pieces... he wants to tell the truth... he want to say "I LOVE YOU", but... that simple words is hard to say...

"You are in pain" CC suddenly showed up in Lelouch room while he was sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Shut up." Lelouch want to discard this girl away, but in fact, she walks closer to Lelouch.

"You love him, don't you?" she said while hugging her favorite doll, cheese-kun.

"I said shut up..." everything she said is right. And Lelouch hated it.

"Are you embarrassed to tell him? Or you afraid? How pathetic you are." Her emotionless voice like a stab for Lelouch, because she is right. Really right.

"CC, it's not your business." Lelouch really-really want to discard CC away.

"You love Suzaku Kururugi, but you can't tell him how much you loved him. You're afraid Suzaku think that you're a freak...aren't you?" CC said, she stood infront of breakdown Lelouch, and keep attack him with her emotionless words and tone.

"................." Lelouch lost all his words, he can't take a defense to avoiding CC's words... he choose to be silent.

"Everyday, you will feel a huge pain, in here." She pointed a finger at Lelouch's chest. He know what she's mean, it is his heart... yes, Lelouch's heart is in pain, everyday...

"...I know, don't remind me again..." Lelouch said. Looking directly to CC's eyes. Her Golden eyes look so empty, like there's nothing there...

"I've to, because you'll forget about it."

"....I won't forget my own feelings about Suzaku."

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_**If I confess that "I love you"**_

_**I probably won't be able to smile again**_

_**But to continue as friends, with fake smiles**_

_**I can't take it any more.**_

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Lelouch standing at the rooftops of Ashford Academy, he invited Suzaku to come over too, but unfortunately he's late. Lelouch must enjoy the sunset alone...

And another reason why he invited Suzaku is, he want to tell him the truth.

He know, maybe Suzaku will hate him because of that, maybe Suzaku won't be neared him again, but it's the risk of truth. Truth is hard, and truth is painful. But sometimes, we must tell truth if we want to go on...

"Nee, Lelouch-kun! Sorry I'm late!"

Suddenly, Suzaku showed up from the stairs, and he run quickly to Lelouch's side.

"You're late...the sunset is over and now replaced by the stars...." Lelouch said, looking up the sky, there're dozen of stars, millions, billions of them... the sky just so beautiful tonight.

"Hmm, like when we were young, we often looked the stars at the rooftops too....." Suzaku said, he glance Over Lelouch, and smile to him.

Suzaku just like a child, he looks so pure and innocent, and inside he was so golden. Maybe it's the reason why Lelouch loved him, maybe it's the reason why Lelouch doesn't care about anything except Suzaku.

"..Suzaku."

"Yeah, Lelouch-kun?"

"...I love you."

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_**The truth is, the truth is I always loved you**_

_**Always, always, I kept loving you**_

_**To you, to you I want to send these feelings**_

_**I whisper them to the blue sky**_

_**I'm so in love with you.**_

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And there is a silence.

Suzaku eyes just grow wide, and Lelouch close his eyes. Afraid to see what happen next.

"I-I'm Sorry, Suzaku...I betrayed our friendship...but—but I can't take it anymore, this feeling torture me every minute and everyday! I just can't help it... you can hate me after this, or you can leave me for good...i'm a freak to you... sorry, I'm so in love with you...Suzaku Kururugi..." Lelouch's voice nearly disappears, almost a little whisper.

He already said it, what should he do now? Lelouch wants to run away, far away... far away from Suzaku's responses... he knows Suzaku will hate and will leave him after this...

"...Lelouch-kun..."

Lelouch heard Suzaku's gentle voice, and slowly he opens his eyes...and see Suzaku just standing infront of him, smiling.

"Don't worry, I won't hate you. I won't leave you. Sorry, I'm in love with you too, Lelouch Lamperouge." Suzaku said while he stroke his hand into Lelouch's dark short hair. And hug him, tightly.

Lelouch only can froze, and shut his mouth for good. Because he doesn't want to ruin this moment, he want this for a long time... and he let a tiny tears slide down from his eyes.

"No wonder I'm so in love with you...."

(Fin)

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_**This, this close I'm watching you**_

_**Why, why are we only friends?**_

_**No matter how, no matter how strong my feelings are**_

_**They don't reach you. You don't understand**_

_**I'm so in love with you**_

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**A/N**: OHHH. This is Bad... I need megan to translate this! Ohh noooo. D,X thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this... uuhh, please, don't send me hotcakes.... (_Get kicked_) sankyuu, minna-san! :D


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